Anyway, so I start my new hobby and suddenly I get this idea that I am a newer, awesomer me: like I am cool, fun, brews-her-own-beer chick, or super organized and diligently clean I-just-got-a new-Martha-Stewart-book lady. Never mind that brew-her-own-beer chick flooded the kitchen in half an inch of unfermented stout, or that Martha-Stewart-lady may or may not have eaten an entire box of Kellogg's Corn Pops for dinner; this does nothing to dampen my excitement when I embark upon my next project which I am always sure will somehow make me amazing.
Most recently I imagined myself sexy, strong, going-to-run-a-Tough-Mudder Girl.
Knee brace? Acceptable. Diapers? Not so much. |
You know what Tough-Mudder Girl does not do?
Tough-Mudder Girl does not PEE HERSELF while running, jumping, and being generally awesome. Nowhere does incontinence fit into the Tough-Mudder Girl persona, and no one has ever suggested Depends as a solution to ANY of the challenges Tough-Mudder Girl faces.
What. The. Hell.
Why does no one mention this before you have a baby? People tell you about the pain during delivery, and the no-sleep with a baby, but no one mentions, "Oh, yeah, and, from now on, try not to jump, laugh or breath in public". You think someone might have brought that up.
So now I am in physical therapy. For peeing my pants. It's an actual thing, and I participate in it. Superb.
I am looking into my diet, and of course kegels, lots and lots of kegels.
In the meantime, I have decided to go with it, ya know? What else can I do? From now on, just call me super chill and free-spirited Not-Restricted-Indoor-Plumbing woman.