Thursday, November 3, 2011

NOT a New Age Hippie

As previously discussed, I trust TV way too much.  I am one of those people that believes everything commercials tell them.  Those "corn sugar" commercials: I totally bought it.  (Evidently they are quite bogus, if you can believe MSNBC, which, of course, is still television.)  Okay, I am not totally sold on EVERYTHING the television says to me, but I am pretty sensitive to suggestion.
This is why I thought I would be a perfect candidate for Hypnobabies.
I know, I know: you are rolling your eyes at me thinking "You ARE one of those gullible new-age hippies".
Well, okay, there may be actually a very strong case that I am a gullible new-age hippie, but hear me out.  Hypnobabies is basically just a form of deep relaxation that allows you to stay in control when you are giving birth.  This was important to me because I was really afraid of having an anxiety attack while delivering.  See, perfectly non-gullible talk.
Unfortunately, once we got to the hospital, I was too afraid the nurses would judge me, so I couldn't follow through on the program.  "Did you hear about the crazy hippie in room 2B?," I could imagine them saying, "She doing HYPNObabies.  I'll bet she even calls high fructose corn syrup 'corn sugar'.  Someone should call social services."
Despite the fizzled ending, the program was actually pretty helpful in dealing with some of my anxieties.  Before I started the program, I was becoming pretty disenchanted with the whole pregnancy thing.  As I became more and more uncomfortable, my perception of LO's movements in the womb changed from fun-loving and playful flips and squirms, to irritated and malicious kicks and shoves.  I actually would get angry with her, telling her to knock it off when she squirmed around inside me.  Obviously, not a healthy way to perceive your growing child.  Once I started the program though, I started noticing my response change.  The program suggests that you listen to the "Positive Affirmation" track daily.  It had me repeat things like, "I love my pregnant body" and "My baby is safe and healthy inside me now". When I first started doing it I thought the whole thing was ridiculous.  I was amused by my crazy antics, and the startled expressions of the shoppers around me."  My uterus is oft and supple" I said as I walked down the frozen food isle.
Okay, I didn't actually do it while shopping; I do have some boundaries.
Anyway, I was amused by doing the exercises, but I kind of thought the whole thing was ridiculous.  Please note how very sensible non-gullible I was in this.
Then, lo and behold, every time I would drive by the Dairy Queen, I could hear the recording's calming voice,"I eat healthy foods everyday for my baby".  I started feeling a lot better about the pregnancy; referring to LO as a "sweet little baby"; it was awesome.
Now, was it enough to keep me serene during an emergency delivery and five day stay in the hospital?  No, it's not Valium, but now that I not facing the prospect of people coming into my room in the middle of the night and jabbing me with needles, I am thinking of picking up some guided relaxation again.
Seriously, I just need to see one commercial for it and I think I would pick it up again.

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