Friendly Fire During Postpartum Warfare

One of the most challenging parts of postpartum depression is the civilian casualties.  Of course the depression, irritability and fatigue are hard on me, but my poor, sweet long suffering husband, and cute little girl are just innocent bystanders, and really shouldn't have to deal with my insanity when I meltdown over an overgrown law, or become wrought with emotion during the ending of Men in Black 3.
I think doctors too often overlook the family when working through finding proper treatment.
"Some aggression is normal with this as your body adjusts." They say.  (Don't you love their euphemisms?  "Aggression" is code for unholy rage-fests.)  "Give this three weeks or so, and if you are still experiencing irritability, we will consider lowering the dose."
Yeah.  Three weeks.  We'll just dig trenches in the living room and LO and Erik can duck and cover when the sirens go off.   Easy-peasy.
I am not sure what the answer is.  There is no magic pill that will just *puff* make you better, but all this experimentation takes a toll on my family.  I wrote an article that my friend Kaitlin published on her blog at Psych Central.  Check it out and let me know if you agree.

Medication and your authentic self

My friend Kaitlyn recently published this post from a guest blogger on her site.  It has to do with medication and whether or not it makes you your "true" self, another version of yourself, or someone else completely.  This is a question that I know a lot of people wrestle with.  After all, everyone wrestles with their identity to some degree, and when you are taking medications that fundamentally change your brain chemistry, identity issues are bound to pop up.  In the blogger's article, she tries to determine whether she *is* the woman she becomes when suffering from her ADHD , or if she *is* the woman she manifests when on medication.
Personally, I do not believe that I am the nasty, ill-tempered, dark human being I become when I go off my medication.  Depression is a disorder: not a personality trait.  Science has determined that depression is due to a chemical imbalance; so I think it would be inappropriate to say that my true self is the manifestation of that imbalance.  I wouldn't say that a person with epilepsy is most truly him/herself  when having a seizure.  I wouldn't say my father is most truly himself when have a schizophrenic episode.  I wouldn't even say that a person is most truly him/herself when they are really tired.  I guess I like to think that a person is his or her true self is his or her optimal self: who they are under the best conditions, not the worst.That is not to say that I do not believe that I am a complete and total nutcase.  I definitely understand that that cranky, misanthrope I become when I am depressed is me, it is just not most authentically me.
Additionally, I think that if your medication makes you feel anything other than the most authentic version of yourself, then you need to change medication.  There are a ton of medications out there, and if you feel stifled, or wired, or just inauthentic, there is probably a medication that can get you to a better place.  Medication should help you manage your day to day affairs, and help you accomplish the goals that your disorder is stopping you from achieving.  If anything else is happening, there is something wrong.

Lovely Poem by Walt Whitman

There Was a Child Went Forth

poem from Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman

There was a child went forth every day,

and the first object he look'd upon that object he became

and that object became part of him for a day, 

or a certain part of the day,

or for many years, 

or for stretching cycles of years.

We feed the cat first

I just read this article on Babble about second kids getting the shaft.  As my mother's second child, I really don't feel that this is true, but as the mother, I can totally see it happening.  So, I am being proactive and in treating both my children equally by being as lazy as humanly possible with my first child.

It's cool.  She needs the fiber.

Observe:

• Almost all LO's clothes come from consignment shops or Goodwill.
• I consider eight hours a fine amount of time to wear a diaper.
• The 5 second rule for dropped pacifiers has been extended to a five day rule, as long as I pick off all visible dirt before putting it in her mouth.  Not that it matters because ....
• LO considers the carpet in our living room an all you can eat buffet.
• We have two baby books.  Both are completely blank that way all the children can share them.

Any confessions about your "forward thinking" in treating your children equally?