The reason women are so stressed is not a failure of women to prioritize her needs. It's everyone else's failure to prioritize her needs.
Let me begin by saying that I fully know that women hold the very seams of civilization together, and if we all decided to give priority to ourselves the way that men and children do, the world would very likely spin out of orbit and crash into the sun. But that's the point, isn't it. Women work tirelessly to maintain our preferred quality of life, and the rest of the world benefits. Fuckers. You would think they could help out a little. It's not fair. It's not fair, and I've decided to resist by doing less; not more.
There are a lot of things that women could decide to opt out of, but then they would be faced by judgement from other women; or at least we fear we would. I certainly don't want to derease the quality of life for my kids, and besides, I'm not brave enough to face the judgement I might recieve from other women. So, I'm not eschewing my responsibiltes forever; just for a little. There are lots of little things I can put off without doing too much damage to the kids or setting the world careening into the sun. For example: I have decided not to fold clothes for a month. Folding clothes is boring and pointless, and I get that the clothes look nicer and fit better, but I don't like it, and I am not going to do it. People can pull through the clothes on the couch and find there stuff for a month; they'll be fine. After a month I'll go back to folding, but I'm just not doing it for a month. Instead I am going to do...well likely some other boring but necessary task, but at least that's off my plate.
Now I am brainstorming a list of things I am opting out of; not forever and not all at once, but just one at a time for as long as I feel like I can get away with it before the Board of Health Intervenes. Here's what I have scome up with
Don't make meals. The family can eat fruit, yogurt and breakfast ceral for a month. The kids won't die, and maybe they'll be thankful when I decide to start getting back to making them meals.
I'm not vacuuming for month. Fuck it.
I'm not helping the kids with their homeowrk for a week. If they can't handle their homework themselves, the homework is not the right age level for them, and the teacher should recognize that. A week won't leave them far behind.
I'm wearing the same outfit for a week; maybe more. It's not like I'm a construction worker or an ER nurse. I'll spray it with Febreeze. It's fine.
I am not dressing the kids for a month. I hate getting the kids ready for school. I hate it. I will set them out some food, but if they don't eat or get dressed, it's on them. I am literally taking them to school in pajamas. They can fuckin' deal with it.
My kids are not doing anything after school for a week except play on the ipad: no playdates, classes: nothing. It's fine.
I'm not doing yard work- for a week- a month- a season. Whatever; I'm a good neighbor. People can deal with nature for a little while. Fuck it.
We will put up a tree for Christmas, and have gifts. No dinner. No cards. No activities. A tree is fuckin' magical. People can go one year without.
I am opting out of like a third of all necessary appointments.
I'm not going to do dishes for a week, because I don't want to. Yes, I will have more dishes to deal with when I get back to it, but not THAT many more. We only have so many dishes. If we run out of dishes I'll rinse them one by one until I feel like doing them. Fuck it. We can have a pile of dirty dishes for a week.
Why? Why have I decided not to do it? Because I don't want to. My needs matter to, you know. And if someone has a problem with it, they can go fuck themselves; Fuck the patriarchy man. Resistance is a form of self care.
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