Here's the thing though: I didn't really know what to expect when it came to my miscarriage. Obviously every case is different so my doctors kept describing it in very vague "you-will-experience some-discomfort" terms, so outside of what I had seen in movies, I had no idea what was going to happen. From what I could gather, a miscarriage involved blood-soaked sheets, quiet and quick gasps of air, followed by a montage of me and my husband talking to doctors and embracing gingerly. That whole event would last about two minutes. If it was a particularly dramatic miscarriage, I expected that I would become delusional and never really recover.
Once again, life failed to live us to my Hollywood expectations. As far as I can tell, my miscarriage started the moment I conceived; spotting upon conception. I had spotting- daily bleeding but not enough to fill a pad- for two weeks. It was when I started filling a pad that I started to get nervous.
Wait, no, that's not true. I was nervous immediately upon learning I was pregnant, because, as previously mentioned, that whole area is generally regarded as an unfit environment. Once I started filling a pad, I knew something was wrong. This was no longer a "well, I am always anxious about everything" scenario, but a "we have to do something NOW" scenario.
We got the first appointment at my doctor's office that morning, and test confirmed that I was pregnant: I had an HcG level (the pregnancy hormone) of 120. However, my progesterone levels (levels that sustain pregnancy) were at 3: during first trimester there should be a minimum of 10. Such a low progesterone level indicated that I would probably miscarry. The deciding factor would be the rate and direction that my HcG levels changed. They were suppose to double every week. If they decreased, I was miscarrying. If not, there was an option to treat with pregnancy injections. I would need to wait a week to see how my hormones shifted. Doctors told me that I should go home and try to relax because stress could increase the likelihood of miscarriage. Nothing like knowing your unborn child's life is on the line to help a girl decompress.
|But then, the next day she was fine, right?|
Now, we are just about ready to try again, which is scary, but you know, kind of the way it works. Hopefully things will work out better this time.