Thursday, April 19, 2012

Back in the Matrix

So, yeah... I guess I have been pretty depressed lately.  It's hard to get perspective when you are in the middle of it, but just from reading those last few blog posts...whew!  I totally went emo for a while there didn't I?  The funny thing is, I am not sure that I feel any of it is untrue, I just feel more okay about it.  Do you ever get that?  Adjust your meds, and then suddenly you feel more okay about stuff?  I still have the same opinion of my situation, but just I just kind of feel alright about it.  As in, "This sucks, and I'm okay with that".
Meds are like that.   I have a bi-polar friend who resists medication because when he is unmedicated he sees "the real world".  He's right of course. There is actually such a thing as a "positive illusion" that affects "normal" people more than those with depression.  In other words, "normal" people kinda live in a happy little Matrix-world, and people with depression are all the people outside the Matrix who wear really bland colors and have to eat that gross food, and know that humanity is imprisoned by robots.
Only we're not the cool people outside the Matrix who can bend it to our will and stuff; I think those are the manic depressives.  It's no wonder we're depressed really.
Anyway, in that movie, as in actual life, I never understood why people wanted to live outside the Matrix.  Maybe on medication I don't live in the "real world", but so what?  Yes, inside the Matrix you are living an illusion and robots are sucking source or something... but are illusions really that bad?  In the Matrix there is good food, and television, and carpeting.  Yes, it has its problems, but at least we aren't constantly being hunted by giant octopus-shaped killing machines.
In my friend's case, I think he just doesn't want to give up the sexy dance parties.


  1. To be honest, when I was on medication I felt more in touch with reality, I could focus more. Now... I feel a bit more in a fog and things are unclear. I'm pregnant so I went off my medications per my doctors suggestions :\

  2. I would say generally when I am on medication, I feel more like myself as well. Sciencemay say that those with depression have a more "realistic" view of the world, but personally, I always found that I was kind of fuzzy headed and distracted, not to mention grumpy. I was Off my medication for a little while during pregnancy, but there is so little research out there, my doctor and I decided it wasn't worth the stress of being off meds. Let's hear it for the Matrix!